hold me mommy!

I have a limited amount of physical and mental energy this week. My head is truly gone. My body is only half here. Ask Ron how many times I lost my car and office keys at lunch today, only everytime I tried to find them. Clarity, attention and energy are fluxing. My head is messed up probably because I tried unsuccessfully to wean myself off of Zoloft. Perhaps I don't need it, perhaps I do. Perhaps the darkness I'm experiencing is drug withdrawal, perhaps it is disease now untreated. But at the moment I feel only half alive in all respects and that is a worrisome condition. My body is also reacting to a bug. A microscopic enemy. A not so gentle reminder that we Goliaths are a quivering gelatinous mass when faced with this David

I'll admit. I'm a little scared. I keep having fantasies of dying here on the couch. What will they say at my funeral? Do you remember as a kid, having fantasies about this or was that just me?

Okay. Focus. I think I am being hysterical. I think I'm going to go get some ice cream and watch Spongebob with the kids.