Lord Mortar and the killer thunder strike

I heard an interesting metaphor the other day. A doctor had a patient come into his office who was convinced that he was dead. The doctor asked him to describe a dead person, how he looks, behaves,etc. The doctor asked.."Can a dead person bleed?" ...the patient said, "no, a dead person does not bleed". So the doctor pulled out a needle and pricked the patient's finger. Since the patient was not in fact dead, he started to bleed. The patient stared at the blood and said. "oh...I guess dead people DO bleed." The implications behind this metaphor go beyond the need for further explaination. Politely transparent walls and closed doors which are shut off to all influence allow us to nuture our prejudicies and neglect our sense of reason.

I took the kids to their first day of school today. I felt like crying. We had fun together this summer. On the other hand, the last couple weeks I've been counting down the days. Right now I'm watching my five year old (who starts kindergarten next week) and his best friend practice their Power Ranger moves. It's incredibly endearing. I wish I could describe it in a way that would do it justice. Right now they are using"power blows" and "mystic kicks" to fight the evil Lord Mortar. Ooooh...just finished him off with a "thunder strike"...except one of them just kicked the shelf by mistake with his bare foot and I'm not sure who is the worse off.

I'm trying to wake up from my funk this morning. I had another one of those gut wrenching emotive kind of dreams. In fact I woke up sobbing. My oldest was being shot and bludgeoned to death by an army of Chinese soldiers. Only it wasn't really my Josh, it was Josh's clone but I loved him like he was the real Josh and I was in a panicked helpless state. When I woke up, I decided the dream was about killing the false self. But it drained me. I wish I understood it. I wish I could go back and rewind it and analyze it frame by frame but the memory of it is hazy and mostly what I am left with is the feeling. Which right now feels empty. Not a bad kind of empty but an empty like I've just been "purged" kind of empty. Like my thinking brain has shut off and my emotive brain has taken over. Except that part of me is so powerful that I have just numbed everything up so I am left comfortably empty and dumb. No one is manning the ship right now, except for perhaps the automatic pilot. I hope she remembers to pick the kids up from school and give the dog his medicine (he has developed a nasty case of oral warts...gross).

I have to admit I have some theatrical leanings. But the dream was powerful. It will be fun to ruminate on it when I have more energy!

Now that Lord Mortar has been vanquished from the dark corners of my house (and my brain), maybe I can breathe easier now.