day five and the battle ain't over yet honey...

I've been tortured by the business plan for going on (at least) five days now. I just can't seem to even try to finish it. I've been doing everything else (including scrubbing the dead skin off from my big toes)...except this. I've been blaming my distractions on everyone and everything else, especially my family. But now, I'm in my office. I'm alone. It's very very quiet and I'm staring bleakly into the distance. I just now figured out what it is going on and I had to purge this thought briefly before I launch into it. I am afraid. That is what is stopping me. It's not laziness..it's not procrastination...I am afraid to look at the numbers in their faces. What if I prove to myself that I'm doomed for failure? What if I prove to myself that I will succeed? (that almost seems scarier...there's a lot of responsibility that comes with success.) I am like a child in a candy store clutching a sweaty five dollar bill....what you do with it is up to you sweetheart, but you have to live with the consequences. If five dollars were time, I would have spent it on penny candy by now. A little of this....a bite of that....ooohh that looks nice....

I think now that I've recognized that my road block is really just fear...perhaps I can get beyond this. I really do have what I need to write it. I have several blank templates that are just waiting for me to plug in numbers. Waiting....waiting....waiting....

I recently read over a friends business website and called him on a few typos and awkward sentences. ME! Telling someone to watch their typos?! I hear the distant clang of a black pot.

Okay...I'm ready to look fear and numbers directly head on. I'm ready to make the leap out of ignorance.

But first I'm going to go grab a coffee. This is going to be a late night.